Still looking at the three sides of the bill. . .
I used to do headbangs a lot when I was a kid, by headbang, I meant banging my head on the wall (which is cement) very hard, literally. It was because I had this terrible migraines which is painful for me then more than anything else and the pain only goes away when I bang my head on the wall. Eh, migraines, maybe because I was such a hardcore gamer (late middle 80’s to early 90’s) that I had to be forced to wear graded eyeglasses twice. I still play video games although i’m not so fond of it anymore, rather, i’m more interested in making money, in which, although I hate to admit, I miserably fail at.
So maybe, as a result of having had anesthesia in surgeries and banging my head on the wall when I was young (plus very prolonged computer exposure), i’m suffering the effects now which are major memory gaps and frequent short-term memory loss. Hell, sometimes, I can’t remember shit. And so this limits me on many cases - in academics, socially, and on things which you need to use your memory. I have a limit on making new friends, it’s because I will have a large tendency of forgetting their name or their face the next time. And so, to prevent trouble and misunderstanding, I only idle. Those who’re really interested in me become my friends and those who don’t, don’t. I’m thankful enough that even if I fail to remember most of them most of the time, they still stay as my friends.
Why the hell am I writing this? Because I got worse, and maybe i’ll get even worse tomorrow, and i’ll forget to write here. I forgot that I had a fever this morning, and I fucking took a bath, and now I get the chills as my fever relapsed.